I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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