I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
