like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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