I think scott just propositioned me for sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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