aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
