i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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