can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
