Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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