So drunk its hurt
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
