Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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