mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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