Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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