How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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