we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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