Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
