we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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