hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
