Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did you just see the Batmobile???
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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