its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
