For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
