I want to have your abortion
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Welp...herpes.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Boobs speak an international language.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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