I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
