Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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