It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
