What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
