i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
