Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
