Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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