He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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