guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
