he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
