did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
