So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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