I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dicks are not precious.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
