He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm really busy with my period
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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