just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
