i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
