Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
