This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
