just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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