Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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