I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
bring money and cleavage
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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