Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
