I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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