I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
