ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
