So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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