Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
