I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
