Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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