I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
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I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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