went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
