You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
