This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
