Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
