He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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