I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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