Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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