brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
