we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
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The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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