found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
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Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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