i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
