piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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