he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
