i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
