I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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