i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
