Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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